Everybody has coping mechanisms to deal with, or ignore, the inconveniences of existing. I make to-do lists, organise elaborate holidays on Excel and Splitwise, and, most importantly, go to therapy. Since my therapist is out on maternity leave, I’ve had to figure out a way to channel my emotions and frustrations without burdening my partner and my close circle of friends.
That’s where Duolingo comes in. During a road trip through Italy this year, I decided to pick up Italian again. I was surprised that I still remembered scraps of my university language classes and was able to engage in basic conversations with locals, even if that meant listening to an islamophobic old Italian man rant about how France was building too many mosques, all the while soaking in a Tuscan pungent sulphur thermal bath.
I am currently on a 43-day streak on Italian Duolingo, ranked first on the Amethyst League. That is, until Olaia decides to steal my spot again. Yes, I’ll have you know that I am currently battling to secure my first spot in the league and I get pinged by the app as soon as somebody hijacks my spot. I start every morning with at least 1 hour of Duolingo, and my partner has to cajole me into setting my phone aside at night - a difficult feat especially when I get that dreaded notification.
Am I superior to the rest of the people who are doomscrolling on Instagram while I am the undefeated queen of the Duolingo Amethyst League? Such are my thoughts as I stand sandwiched between other sweaty and depressed passengers on the line 13 of the Parisian metro (this is a joke in case my sarcasm is lost of some of you who don’t know me personally).
After 43 days of racing against virtual clocks and virtual opponents to learn a language spoken by a deeply racist nation, I wanted to understand - why I am doing this? I have no plans that involve moving to Italy, I am subjected to racism and fetishisation each time I set foot there - so why am I spending so much of my free time on Duolingo instead of reading and writing and doing all the cool things I thought I’d be doing while being job-free?
Duolingo is my new North Star, a constant in my daily life where I learn how to say “birds are yellow” or “I am not a monkey” (yes, yes, yes) or that I “have a snake in my boot” in Italian. It is a steady repetition of phrases and verbs, with a satisfying “ding” that resonates when I get the right answer, the sound of an enticing till when I get more crowns in my treasure chest and a general sense of accomplishment as I greedily monitor the number of XP points I accumulate daily. I am also pretty good at it, and my self-esteem is willing to gobble any attention that is thrown its way after a pretty brutal year of clap backs.
Most of all, I think it feels good to have the time to do something that is not goal-oriented or productive - there is no ambition or projects beyond the leaderboard on Duolingo. It is a simple, brainless activity that I do between scrolling through TikTok, working out, reading and cooking new recipes while dreaming of buying a state of the art juicer and an air fryer. It is also a way for me to keep the doom thinking at bay for a while, to keep my mind busy with a litany of unpractical phrases instead of figuring out what the hell am I going to do with my life. It’s a temporary fix, but it is a coping mechanism and right now it’s keeping the four wobbly walls of life up and standing.
Other coping mechanisms (books and TV shows) that have helped me out these days:
Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid - a fun, sarcastic, social commentary on race, youth and ambition. It helped me breakthrough my reading slump and made me experience some of the worst second-hand embarrassment I’ve felt while reading a book.
Ted Lasso - a wonderful show about a goofy American football coach who is sent to the UK to coach a bunch of grim and sceptical football players (this is a bad synopsis but I don’t want to spoil the show for you). Ted Lasso is guaranteed to make you feel fuzzy and warm inside. I need this series in my life because there is no drama, only happy endings and dorky jokes.
The White Lotus - why are shows about rich white people problems so soothing to me? Anyways do yourself a favour and watch this series - the writing is brilliant and the soundtrack is eerie.
What shows are you watching these days? What are your coping mechanisms when life feels too much? Let me know. I need to diversify my escape strategies.
Ciao amici,
Sabrina (Io non sono una scimmia)